Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
