If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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