you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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