The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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