By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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