it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
