he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
