So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
