She is in my trunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
