Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
