we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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