Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me I talked like a deaf person
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
