Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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