I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
