I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
