There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize