just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
