Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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