Who did Billy Mays play for?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
