Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
