I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
