remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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