Sponge bath it is.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
