U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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