I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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