Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
