"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
