After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
