New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
high people should be assigned attendants
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
