at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
