So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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