Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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