Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
