Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
