sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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