you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
