scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl