I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.