You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.