Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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