No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
