I could make wine with my vomit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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