I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I need a beard to bite.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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