I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
