I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
