I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
