No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
