I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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