Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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