You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
