Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
