idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
