I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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