Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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