I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Holy sore nipples Batman
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize