your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
