Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
