You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize