Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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