did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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