he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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