Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
