Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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