I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Congratulations! We have a period
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
