He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
