Pappa wants mamma naked
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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