We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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