i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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